If only global warming were just a bad joke

So, Ben showed me a movie about how this global warming business is all bunk. As someone who’s been focused on the issue for a good 7 years now, I’ve come across this stuff now and again. Here’s my response to Ben..

Sweet. You found a movie with all the old dudes with funny ears together. It’s nice. So nice. The one thing the movie is right about is that there is not full consensus that human activities are the main cause of global warming. Sounds like a good point, except.. there isn’t full scientific consensus that the earth isn’t flat or that gravity exists either. If you’ve got some time and money, you can always find a scientist to come up with a lot of reasons why something might not be true. The same small number of kooky dudes that you see in the movie have been saying these same things about global warming for over a decade. The difference is that now, finally, they aren’t getting as much airtime in the media as the thousands and thousands of credible scientists who agree that global warming is caused by CO2 and is nasty crisis that we have to solve.

Consider the ‘Stache Bashed

‘Stache Bash 2007 was a piping success. As always, Jon Wolanske, our fearless M4K SF leader, was a hoot to listen to on stage as the DJ for the night, reeling off mustache monologues and quips after each contestant showed their stuff. We had a guy who’d been growing a sketchy good Jack Sparrow mustache in San Francisco for the last 10 years, a judge who’d been sporting his ’stache and hat for 35 years, and 35 done-up mustache contestants.

Round 1 was a stage-walk for each grower as Jon read off their self-written bio. I decided to go as Justin Timberstache, proclaiming that the time for sex symbols to get by with sub-par facial growth is over. Others chose themes such as Ron Burgundy of Anchor Man, the Prince symbol, a welder, Mr. Myagi, “The Stache Infection”, and several different shady incarnations of slimy sexpots and freakshows. It was bliss. The winner was this guy who wore lots of bright colors and hankerchiefs and acted like he’d been bitten by a rabid squirrel just before the show. In round 2, when he had to kiss the hand of a female volunteer from the audience, he took her hand and rapidly shifted his nose up and down her arm before laying on a long, freakish kiss. In the final round, he belted out his “Stache-ku” (like a haiku, except with a mustache-theme rather than nature) with extra punch, like his life depended on the delivery.

My Soup-strainer Busts $500!

Thanks to John Overholt’s Borat ($100), my mustache has just thumped the $500 mark ($502.34)! This is big. It means that an anonymously generous donor is going to kick in an extra $250 on my behalf to the Breakthrough Collective.

In other news, the great Stache Bash 2007 at the Rickshaw Stop is coming up in just under four hours. This is the test of the meddle for all mustache growers for children. We get up on stage, strut, guzzle, and get creative. This year’s event could be brutally cutthroat if all 70 contestants take the stage. Last year there were about 30 guys and it still got pretty heated.  Wish me luck!

Incredible News in Mustache Land

Today, Day 29 of the 30 day Mustaches for Kids competition, my mustache has brushed up against deep fried “eggplant fries”, shielded my nervous mouth as I testified on behalf of the North Central Coast of California in front of a bunch of fishermen and conservationists, and grown an extra .0023 millimeters (rounding up).

With one day left in my marathon sprint for kids, I’m just over 11 Yosemite Sam’s ($20 sponsorship level) short of my goal. If I succeed in raising $500, a mysteriously generous donor will match the gift with an extra $250 for the Breakthrough Collaborative! If not, the kids lose out. So, please consider a Yosemite Sam ($20), a “My Name is Earl” ($50), or a Borat ($100) on behalf of my mustache. It’s your last chance!

DONATE via paypal
DONATE via justgive

Grow with me! Day 28

Two days left until Stache Bash 2007! Here’s my video pitch for you to sponsor my ’stache..

3-Day Growth Sprint for Kids

A few days ago my good friend Jason Fults hit me from all the way over in India. He hit me up, that is, with a $25 sponsorship gift for the children. By doing this, Jason instantly became Magnum P.I. (see donation levels below) . And I want you to do the same right now!

Please sponsor me as a Mustaches for Kids 2007 Stache Bash Official Grower !

THREE WAYS TO SPONSOR JOSH:
1. Donate via Paypal to joshwlynch@gmail.com.
2. Send a check to “Josh Lynch” at 630 Oak St; San Francisco, CA 94117.
3. Donate online via Breakthrough’s JustGive.org page. Make sure you note that it’s a donation via “Mustaches for Kids:Josh Lynch” in the “As A Gift In Someone’s Name” field. Email me your donation amount to secure your place in Josh’s Mustaches for Kids Hall of Fame.
(I will collect all donations and give them to our children’s charity, the Breakthrough Collaborative on December 13th.)

I’ve got until this Thursday (12/13) to raise $500 big ones to help give low-income middle school kids a breakthrough in their education! I’ve been growing this mustache for four weeks now and it’s lookin’ mighty fine. It’s like a marathon to benefit an amazing organization called the Breakthrough Collaborative, and I’m on the last leg. The only differences between what I’m doing an a marathon for charity are:
1. I’m not running 26 miles. I’m growing a huge red mustache.
2. I’m not asking you to sponsor me before the race. I’m asking now, on the last lap!
3. I actually have a chance to win this thing (Last year I made it to the final round before blowing it with a sub-par mustache Haiku)!!

Stay tuned for new photos of my progress and updates on my 3 Day Growth Sprint for Kids every day this week. So far, Jason is in the lead for Josh’s 2007 Mustaches for Kids Hall of Fame giving. Donate $50 now via Paypal and knock him off the block.

love and follicles,
Josh

MUSTACHES FOR KIDS DONATION LEVELS
“The Albert Einstein” – $250
“The Billy Dee Williams” – $200
“The Burt Reynolds” – $150
“The Al Sharpton” – $125
“The Borat” – $100
“The Dr. Phil” – $75
“The ‘My Name is Earl’” – $50
“The Magnum P.I.” (Tom Selleck!) – $25
“The Yosemite Sam” – $20
“The Lionel Ritchie” – $10
“The John Waters” – $5
“The Frida Kahlo” – Anything below $5