The story of Copenhagen began in Bali, Indonesia two years ago. After an intensive two weeks of negotiations, 192 countries, including the Bush Administration, signed on to the Bali Roadmap, a plan to complete a binding global climate treaty in Copenhagen. The Bali Roadmap was a political agreement acknowledging that the evidence for the planet warming is “unequivocal”, and that further delays in reducing emissions would further increase the risks of “severe climate change impacts.”

Fast forward to 2009 – after two years of high level negotiations and new peer-reviewed scientific findings warning that climate change is accelerating faster than previously anticipated, the stakes had been raised for Copenhagen. In the first week and a half of the negotiations, leaders from small island states like the Maldives and Tuvalu and from African countries already being thrust into water-related conflicts from extreme drought resisted threats and bribes from developed countries as they insisted on an ambitious and fair legal treaty committed to containing warming below 1.5 degrees C. Tensions ran high and the talks were deadlocked as rich nations and emerging economies blamed each other and the most vulnerable.

After nine hours of direct negotiations from world leaders on the final day, a weak agreement was reached by a diverse group of interests. The three-page Copenhagen Accord is by all accounts far short of the ambitious and fair legal treaty promised in Bali. While it does finally tie emerging economies like China and India in with the United States under the same climate agreement, it also punts most of the hard decisions down the road another year.

At most the Copenhagen Accord can be called another baby step forward, when the world needed a bold leap. The reason for this colossal failure of leadership was a No Ambition Coalition of the United States and China. Held hostage by fossil fuel lobbyists and an addiction to a 20th century growth paradigm, China held out against a legally-binding outcome and international verification of emission targets while the United States refused to budge from their weak emission targets.

The most important measure to judge the outcome of Copenhagen is scientific. Early analysis shows that emission targets from countries within the Copenhagen Accord would put the world on track for 3.9 degrees C of warming by 2100. Scientists have warned that exceeding even 1.5C of warming would lead to the displacement of low-lying nations, extreme droughts throughout Africa, and risk reaching irreversible climate tipping points.

There is cause for hope coming out of Copenhagen. Firstly, 133 Heads of State, having traveled to Copenhagen to reach a deal, are now directly accountable for achieving significant action on climate change. Secondly, the international climate movement showed up like never before in Copenhagen and around the world.

The Climate Movement Has Arrived

We saw the world’s largest demonstrations on climate change – 100,000 in the streets of Copenhagen on December 12th, 90,000 across Australia on the same day, and 3000 events around the world. We saw one of the largest petitions in history – 15 million for a fair, ambitious, and binding global treaty. We saw a spirit of collaboration amongst NGOs unlike any seen before within the climate movement.

350.org, Avaaz.org, and TckTckTck pulled off three international days of climate action in the course of three months, with more than 10,000 total events in 181 different countries. Thursday December 17th marked a “Hunger for Survival” global fast for climate justice where over 10,000 people worldwide gave up food in solidarity with three people who had consumed nothing but water and salt for 43 days to call attention to the urgency of climate action. Despite all but 300 individuals getting kicked out of the Bella Center for the two day Heads of State Summit, the presence of civil society in the negotiations remained powerful.

How the U.S. and China Ruined Copenhagen

The coal and oil lobbies have a stranglehold on national politics in China and India. The U.S. is by far the largest historic emitter of CO2. The average U.S. citizen emits four times as much CO2 as the average Chinese person. However, a couple years ago China overtook the U.S. as the largest national emitter of CO2. China now builds two new power stations every week.

For months before Copenhagen, President Obama and his top negotiators warned that the U.S. wasn’t going to offer anything stronger than the emission targets being debated in the U.S. Senate of 17% below 2005 levels by 2020 (4% below 1990 levels). These targets pale in comparison to targets from other developed countries like Japan (25% below 1990 levels by 2020) and the EU (20%). However, they do represent the first time the U.S. has had real emission targets to offer at an international climate conference. U.S. negotiators also warned a month before Copenhagen that a legally binding outcome would not be possible in time for this conference and that long-term finance for developing countries was off the table.

A month ago China committed to voluntarily reduce its ‘carbon intensity’ 40-45% below 2005 levels by 2020. This figure is less than it sounds like. Carbon intensity means emissions relative to economic growth. China warned that they were not willing to give up national sovereignty to have their targets monitored by an international body unless the developed world (read: United States) did more to reduce their own emissions and finance technology transfer and climate adaptation in the developing world. China remained strongly opposed to the calls of the developing world for a legally binding treaty that would bind all nations to common but differentiated emission targets.

In Copenhagen, backed sometimes by India, China ultimately ended up opposing a global peak year for emission reductions and vetoing a goal of reducing emissions 50% by 2050 for all nations and 80% by 2050 for developed nations (even though this wouldn’t apply to China in today’s framework).

China, the U.S. and the rest of the world were playing a game of chicken for two years – one pointing the finger at the other, refusing to act first.

Hope on Climate Finance

After days of deadlock, a glimmer of new hope had been infused into the process on Thursday afternoon. U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a surprise appearance, offering a proposal for $100 billion/year climate finance for adaptation and technology in developing countries by 2020, of which the U.S. would pay its “fair share”. This was half of what the Climate Action Network International and several experts argued was necessary to adequately avert climate catastrophe. But it was significant because it was the first time the U.S. had offered anything beyond a three-year ‘quick start’ finance package.

Clinton made it clear that the funds would only be made available if China would agree to “transparency” in reporting its emission reductions. At the end of the day the U.S. only put $3.6 billion over the next three years on the table, with a suggestion that more could come later if approved by Congress. Japan promised $11 billion and the EU $10.6 billion over three years. China ultimately agreed to some transparency and international “consultation” for its targets.

“Friends of the Chair” Process Produces a Document

With 132 other heads of state present in Copenhagen, President Obama arrived on Friday morning December 18th. For two weeks vulnerable nations had been insisting on emission targets and climate finance strong enough to ensure their survival and developed countries had continued to refuse to offer anything new, leaving the talks in deadlock. As a result, there was no text with any kind of consensus to base negotiations on by Friday morning.

In an attempt to materialize a deal, the Danish Prime Minister began holding a series of “Friends of the Chair” meetings with 28 different countries representing the Least Developed Countries, the emerging economies, and key developed nations. A few members of the G77 (a formal group of 130 developing nations) complained that the process was undemocratic and that the agreement was not strong enough.

In the early afternoon on Friday President Obama gave an underwhelming speech, saying that words were less valuable than action, but again failing to offer any new proposals. At that moment it became clear that Copenhagen would not produce anything close to a fair, ambitious, and binding outcome.

Leading up to Friday, the climate movement had tried every angle to get around the problem of low ambition from the US and China. Groups targeted Japan on finance and the EU on targets, hoping if they came out with something strong, it would budge the big players. Avaaz.org employed voices from the Global South to pressure China to support a legally binding outcome that was measurable, reportable, and verifiable. Nothing worked.

Following Obama’s speech, with a weak outcome certain, youth and NGOs began making banners that read “Climate Shame” and cutting out masks of more than 20 world leaders most responsible for a weak deal. We picked countries who had won the “Fossil of the Day” award throughout the two weeks for doing the most that day to block progress on a strong treaty.

World Leaders Begin to Negotiate

Inside the negotiations U.S. President Obama, Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao, Brazilian President Lula da Silva, South African President Jacob Zuma, and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh were leading bilateral and multilateral meetings to come up with an agreement. Afterwards a UN Assistant Secretary for General Policy Robert Orr described the process on Friday in a press conference (see minute 35):

“I’ve worked in the UN for a number of years and national government for a number of years. I’ve never seen leaders truly negotiate. It’s usually pre-arranged, pre-cooked. And the text goes to the leaders and they nod at each other and they agree. This was not the case. Leaders were drafting. Leaders were caucusing. Leaders were doing things that most of them probably hadn’t done for a few years. I think President Lula at one point said, ‘it makes me feel like a labor union leader again. I remember collective bargaining.’”

After President Obama’s afternoon speech China, apparently spurned, sent lower-level ministers to meetings with Obama and other heads of state as a show of power. Heads of state were forced to wait around as the Chinese delegate made telephone calls to his “superiors”. Unlike other countries China didn’t need a deal out of Copenhagen to save face. I heard one account by a member of Climate Action Network China that the priority of 90% of Chinese people going into Copenhagen was for their government to not give in to U.S. pressure, even if it meant risking a global agreement. As a result, China was able to get other nations to strip the the final agreement of its emission targets.

Working frantically for hours, the “Friends of the Chair” process produced the Copenhagen Accord, which finally had the support of the major emitters, emerging economies, and most of the developing world. However with no firm targets, lack of detail on financing, and no deadline for completing a legally binding treaty, the Accord did not achieve the support of a handful of nations in the final hours. As a result, the Conference of the Parties “took note” of the agreement instead of making it a formal decision.

Life in the Final Hours

At one in the morning on the final night, 150 voices were fighting through the bitter cold, surrounded by police outside the Bella Center. President Obama had just delivered his closing speech announcing the Copenhagen Accord and delegates and media from all over the world were deciding how to swallow the bitter compromise that had been reached.

“1.5 to Stay Alive – Don’t Sign the Deal!” “Climate Shame! Climate Shame!” The chants bellowed through the night air as three of us blew on our hands, attempting to liveblog the events on our laptops. As the clock reached 2:00, word came from inside the conference that the EU had not yet decided whether to sign onto the political compromise that had been announced by the U.S., China, India, South Africa, and Brazil. Our chants continued – “EU Don’t Sign! EU Don’t Sign!”

All of us could see the writing on the wall that night. We knew the deal was all but finished, but we knew we had to fight. News outlets were already starting to spin the story as Obama coming in at the last second to rescue a deal. It was important to show that the world was not satisfied with a weak agreement and that leaders had failed in their duty to lead post-Bali. At 2:30 we got a text message with some words from UK Climate Minister Ed Milliband – “it’s youth and connected mobilization that put the pressure to get anything, especially 130 leaders here. Stay strong.”

Forty minutes later a Bolivian delegate came outside to greet us. Looking tired and worn, he said, “it looks like we have lost this battle, but we will win the war because of the strength of the youth.”

After hearing the result of the talks, one member from Africa wrote “It takes a lot to get an elephant moving, but when you do it is hard to stop…the elephant is moving…”

Not Done Yet

The Copenhagen Accord represents a stark failure of leadership resulting from low ambitions and hard lines taken by China and the United States. The price of carbon fell days after the end of negotiations as businesses warned that Copenhagen had failed to signal global limits on carbon emissions. Moving forward, the climate movement must bring the fight for strong carbon limits back to the United States, passing a strong climate law through the Senate, and find a way to convince China to support a legally-binding treaty with strong emission targets in 2010.

In short, the task ahead is to make the elephant move in the right direction, and fast. Our future depends on it.

Once again I am doing two of my favorite things:

1. I am organizing climate change action (See photos and twitter).

2. I’m growing a mustache for kids, this time from Europe! Remember, a “Magnum P.I.” sponsorship is just $25. People tell me when they do the Magnum P.I., their happiness increases to Danish proportions. (Sponsor my face here. Watch my face here.)

My impression of Copenhagen on my second week here:

It’s Dark.

1. Daylight dwindles at 4pm here. Even when it’s not dark, the clouds make it so. That’s crazy.

2. Last week Obama squished hopes for a full legal climate change treaty at the two week UN conference in December, saying he prefers a two-step process finishing in 2010.

It’s Spicy.

1. Denmark is the happiest country in the world. So that’s fun. People make a living wage, crime rates are low, health care is free, and the locals get to listen to silly foreigners try to pronounce street names like “Gaestraeksvej” all the time.

2. Copenhagen gets to host the most important global meeting since World War II in a couple weeks. More than 65 heads of state have already committed to attending it. The only country on the planet where this “COP” is not front page news is – you guessed it – the USA. We’re a little busy debating health care to death and the merits of Taylor Swift versus Michael Jackson.

I have two reasons for being over the next four weeks:

1. Co-coordinate a team of rockstar AVAAZ Action Factory climate activists from 5 different continents to force a hefty strong climate treaty with teeth as soon as possible.

2. Grow another mean mustache for kids for the fourth year in a row and take you all with me to benefit the little ones.

First, mustaches.

Today is Day 5 of this year’s marathon growth sprint for the kids. For those without the luxury of facial hair, day five is when the fuzz turns to itchy fuzz. It’s intense for my fingers. They can’t resist checking out what’s going on above the neck and below the nose. But that leads to redness because the follicles aren’t long enough to properly shield the skin yet. It’s wild.

I was worried, but growing from Copenhagen has turned out peachy so far. My new friend and Action Factory cohort Niklas from Germany has joined me in the inaugural Mustaches for Kids Copenhagen unofficial chapter. He’s got blonde hair, so I think I’m going to school him in this (shh). We’ll see how the delegates, media, and thousands of famous people react to my pushbroom in a few weeks when it gets busty.

On my joshmustache.com page I’ve selected some really good school projects in Vermont, Boston, and San Francisco worthy of your donations. Get in early with a $25 Magnum P.I. ‘stache sponsorship.

Now AVAAZ.

I’ve been in Europe since October 28th. It’s been a mix of dark and spicy. As someone who left his job to campaign for Obama in Florida three weeks before the election, I am angry at my president right now. After promising a return to global interdependency and good will a year ago, the United States is dragging the world down in the climate debate. The administration is lowering expectations for the Copenhagen talks, saying there will be no deal in 2009. The excuse is that Congress has not yet passed climate legislation and we can’t have a climate treaty that Congress won’t ratify. Someone has to remind the president that Congress does not set foreign policy, he does. And that in 2007 all nations (including the Bush Administration) agreed to create a climate deal to succeed Kyoto by the end of the Copenhagen talks. It’s time for a little political bravery.

If you’re still not sure if climate change is an urgent crisis that demands bold politics, consider one fact: the United States’ leading climate scientist, Dr. James Hansen – the man who first testified before Congress in 1988 about the threat from greenhouse gas emissions – has started committing civil disobedience to force an energy revolution. This is someone who’s career has been built on tempered skeptical analysis, not politics or activism. This guy knows more about what’s happening to the climate than anyone, and he’s getting arrested to force action from the government.

So, what’s my story here? A lot has happened. The job is definitely FULL time. We’ve been sleeping four and eight to a room in hostels, eating meals together, and going out together after the day is done. Ben Margetts is the co-coordinator of the Avaaz Action Factory Europe with me. He’s a godsend. The man is 22 years old but has the maturity of a guy in his fifties. He’s a calming, practical, and light-hearted character. The rest of the gang includes Ceesay from the Gambia, Paulina from Mexico, Tim from Australia, Leon from New Zealand, Hilda from Canada, Sandra, Niklas, and Sue from Germany, Ayesha from India, and my old friends Brianna and Nick from San Francisco. It’s a wicked sweet mix. The group features a filmmaker, musicians, artists, media specialists, and a ton of political demonstration organizing experience.

Logistically, things have been hairy to say the least. When we first arrived in Barcelona we somehow lost the van keys in the trash and couldn’t access any of our props and materials for actions for the next six days while we were waiting for a new set of keys to arrive in the mail from Germany. Ceesay and Ayesha were caught in VISA hell for most of the first week back home, arriving on the second to last day of Barcelona. When we were finally ready to return the van in Berlin, we somehow managed to throw the registration papers in the trash (luckily realizing this before it was too late).

Things have settled down since we arrived in Copenhagen. That won’t last. Tens of thousands of people are about to descend on the city from all over the world. It’s about to get darker and spicier. I can’t wait!

As an activist who has been arrested for civil disobedience, organized national climate mobilizations, protested outside of coal plants and worked for Greenpeace, I am calling on my friends and colleagues to fight for the Kerry-Boxer “Clean Energy Jobs Act” and a strong global treaty in Copenhagen. On Monday Senator Barbara Boxer and Energy Secretary Steven Chu said there is a chance of passing a climate bill in Congress before the international talks in Copenhagen this December. Many of us have spent the better part of a decade preparing for this moment. While supporters of the Kerry-Boxer legislation fend off well-financed attacks by the fossil fuel industry, they simultaneously face opposition from progressive voices within the climate movement.

It’s time for radicals and moderates to come together around what are for. Being right isn’t enough. Each of us must be loud and strong and boisterous in defense of our cause. Oppose offsets and giveaways to the fossil fuel industry. But let us fight hardest for what we believe in – a strong climate bill and a stronger global treaty – than what we fear.

In November 2000 I had the privilege to be one of 200 young people from the U.S. and Africa invited by Greenpeace to lobby delegates at the UN Climate Negotiations in The Hague, Netherlands. We stood below a stage listening to four middle-aged Inuit women, who had traveled outside of their homeland for the first time. They were coming from Alaska, a place where winter temperatures had increased 6 degrees since 1950. Fighting back tears we listened as the women told us of men falling through melting ice while traversing age-old caribou hunting routes. They spoke of dwindling food supplies from altered seasons and seeing mosquitoes in a region that had never known such things. They felt the climate crisis first-hand and were reaching out to us in partnership.

Instead of leaving us in fear, the women joined together in a traditional dance. At that moment we knew what we were fighting for: a strong global climate treaty – to preserve hope, love, community, tradition. The lesson for me: in a crisis, fight hardest for what you believe in, not what you fear. While we should never be afraid to oppose weaknesses and flaws in a policy, they should not rule our agenda or define our movement.

Nine years later there is still no cap on carbon pollution and the stakes have risen. CO2 has risen from 369 ppm in 2000 to 385 ppm in 2008. Progressive opponents of the Kerry-Boxer Clean Energy Jobs Act include Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth, and the recently-formed Climate SOS coalition. The Energy Action Coalition, a youth clean energy alliance that I co-founded in 2004 while serving as Greenpeace Campus Organizer, has struck a largely positive chord on the climate bill. However, several of the 50 member organizations are part of Climate SOS lobbying swing Senators to filibuster a federal climate law. These voices have real power and legitimate concerns.

Real Power

In 2008 Energy Action Coalition mobilized over 300,000 youth to sign a pledge to vote for candidates supporting a clean energy economy. Responding to student pressure, over 650 college and university presidents have committed to eliminating carbon pollution on their campuses. Students in Appalachia and around the country have fought side by side with fence-line communities against new coal plants, stopping several. The call for 80% carbon reductions by 2050 landed in Barack Obama’s climate platform and was inserted into the federal climate bill following a youth-led “Step It Up” campaign in 2007. If united, the climate movement has the power to pass a federal climate law and a strong global treaty in Copenhagen.

Legitimate Concerns

Those who follow climate science and support people on the front lines of this crisis are frustrated. By now we should have built a unified movement so powerful that in policy debates we wrangled over penalties for Big Oil as if they were Big Tobacco instead of capitulating about carbon offsets and tolerating coal subsidies. We know that the climate bill’s carbon reduction targets are not strong enough to prevent dangerous tipping points. Many polluters will buy carbon credits rather than reduce their own emissions. We will continue a long trend of wasting tax money on false energy solutions like “clean coal”, offshore drilling, and nuclear power. This is unfortunate – and we should make it clear that we do not support these things and will fight to change them. However, the consequences of inaction are much higher.

Bold actions are needed now more than ever. On July 8th, Greenpeace activists put their lives on the line, hanging a giant banner on Mt. Rushmore that reminded President Obama of his obligation to lead: “America Honors Leaders, Not Politicians. Stop Global Warming.” The President and leaders in Congress will only stick their necks out far enough if we come together to make them act.

The truth is Kerry-Boxer, by itself, will not solve the enormity of our climate issues. No matter the outcome, we will have work left to do. Nevertheless, Kerry-Boxer is an important step forward and its overall impact will be overwhelmingly positive.

Because of a four-month fight from a coalition of civil rights and labor groups led by Green For All, the Clean Energy Jobs Act includes important equity provisions. These provisions would provide access to quality green jobs and job training for under-served communities through funding for the Green Jobs Act and a first-of-its-kind Green Construction Careers Demonstration Project. More than words, the climate bill represents legal action that will force change.

* The declining cap on carbon will send an undeniable signal to banks and venture capitalists that carbon is not the future.
* The playing field for renewables and energy efficiency will begin to level out with new standards and new markets.
* Working class people and people of color in every state will gain access to middle class careers in the green economy.
* Other countries will know that the United States is serious about carbon reduction and will race ever faster toward clean technologies and stronger policies.
* The climate movement will have serious political and legal backing when fighting new coal power plants and working for green collar jobs and zero carbon communities.

There is a principle that says to change people’s hearts you must first meet them where they are at, not where you would want them to be. As much as we would like to believe everybody in America is part of the climate movement, it is not the case. People want clean energy and they want change, but they are afraid of a weak economy and rising energy bills. An army of powerful, moneyed forces with short-term interests is playing on peoples’ fears to kill any action on climate change.

In this defining moment in our history, I am calling on fellow climate activists to fight for a federal climate law and a strong global treaty in Copenhagen. Let us be a generation of “Yes we can” instead of “We should not.” If noise gets attention, let our noise be solution-rich. Let’s win real change for real people and build upon each success as a foundation for something better.

Why? Well, it’s about putting on a sumo suit and wrestling people in medieval costumes on Casey and Jess’s 30th birthday party in Dolores Park. Still wearing the suit, I get pile-driven by a large but gentle professional wrestler. The love is about deliriously “winning” Bay to Breakers three times wearing short-shorts, flaring mullet hair, and an orange safety vest that chafes. It’s about shakin’ booty with friends in gorilla suits at our Justin Timberlake-themed Shiny Party. It’s my white-ass doing the bump-n-grind on free funk Friday’s at Elbo Room.

Every November I had one month to grow a mustache and strut my stuff to benefit little children. Then there’s the crowded bed at the Bordello, swapping clothes in Big Sur, getting nearly knocked off a raft on the American River by my newest sibling, poetically fending off an attack by a flock of gulls on the beach, riding giant ice cubes down a grass hill, and hopping from Ginger’s houseboat to Smitty’s and back to the boat outrageously.

I’ll never forget the naked Jesus Buddha man at Zeitgeist. I don’t know why I just said that.

San Francisco has been my life for five years. I’ve lived in the corner of a room for a month, on numerous couches, a closet, four apartments, and nearly in an oven. I’ve ran a half marathon twice with little sleep and less training or stretching. I’ve seen friends come and go and come again. Jobs have come and gone and come and gone (sometimes three times with the same job). Relationships have done the same (sometimes five times with the same person). I’ve been a mess at times, and riding sky high at others.

So, on August 12th I’m moving to Boston.

What?! Why? I know. It’s crazy to leave all of that. But it’s time. My baby niece Gwenyth and nephew Simon are transcending babyness. My grandparents are not Benjamin Button. I have a ridiculous amount of siblings (5), two brilliant parents and some long-time friends back east. As much love as San Francisco has brought me, I’ve always known where home is.

Leaving hurts. It’s scary. I have no idea how well my whiskers will perform in a sea of red-haired Irishmen at Mustaches for Kids Boston. I’m not sure if I’ll make any friends without my trusty costume basket (oh damn! did I really get rid of all that?! come back giant orange sombrero!). Luckily, I kept my tight red pants and green spinny hat for emergencies.

But hey. It’s time to take that leap. Faithfully.

Luckily, today is not goodbye. There is still a month of raucous summer mischief ahead in the Bay. And as for mischief and Boston, it’s like my cheesy project management professor used to say about trouble-makers on your staff, “Bring it on! I’m ready!”

Portia comes to us for everything. Petting, feeding, sleeping, and most of all, cord frenzy. In two months with us this cat has eaten two ipod headphones, speakers connected to a subwoofer, and chewed half way through Maddy’s computer powercord. It’s intense.

Nothing compared to ecosystem collapse that is.

Spreading hands as dry and cracked as the orchards he tends, the stout man his mates call Tank explained what damage a decade of drought has done.

“Suicide is high. Depression is huge. Families are breaking up. It’s devastation,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve got a neighbor in terrible trouble. Found him in the paddock, sitting in his [truck], crying his eyes out. Grown men — big, strong grown men. We’re holding on by the skin of our teeth. It’s desperate times.”

A result of climate change?

“You’d have to have your head in the bloody sand to think otherwise,” Eddy said.

Ten years ago I traveled to Adelaide, South Australia, the driest province in the driest continent on Earth. I spent five months of my Junior year in college studying sustainable development, environmental politics, and climate change. It was the first time I grasped the issue of global warming. At that time, the drought described by Tank had only just begun.

Now, ten years later, Australia is teaching me a new lesson – as depressing as they may be, articles about climate impacts can still teach us something.

My climate reading for today all started with this news story about global warming creeping into Joshua Tree territory. Have you no decency, Mr. Crisis. That’s my tree you’re messing with.

One reason I’m excited about smartness is the “smart grid”.

GridWise Talks Smart Grid in the Stimulus

The “smart grid” isn’t really a thing. It’s anything that helps the power grid communicate better. It’s a slogan to talk about upgrading the electricity grid so that it can waste less and do more.

Obama tucked $11 billion for the smart grid in the $825 billion Stimulus that just passed the House. If the Senate gives the thumbs up to those $11 billion, that will mean really big things for the black wires that connect to our houses.

Right now our electricity grid is not so smart. No disrespect to the diligent engineers, operators, and regulators who put the thing together over the years, but the thing can’t communicate for shit.

I really like things that run smoothly. I have five siblings and grew up fighting over the TV remote. I know what chaos looks like. Rachael wants to watch pony cartoons. Warren and Ben want to watch Fraggle Rock. Heather and Adam want to watch Princess Bride for the third time this week and I’m fuming because we’re missing the Super Bowl and nobody else knows or cares what a football is. Because we each want different shows and are clueless about how to communicate with each other, we end up with mom stomping into the room, shutting off the TV and telling everybody to stop fighting and go outside.

I’m not an expert on this, but here’s my understanding of the current electrical grid:

The power grid isn’t exactly like my childhood experience of watching television, but it does have similarities. There are more than 1000 different utility companies spread across the country whose job it is to sell power to hundreds of millions of households and businesses. Each are connected to centralized distribution and transmission centers that channel power from large power plants far away. Decisions about how much power to transmit, when, and how are determined by operators and regulators with different rules and guidelines in different regions.

While the complex system is a mess, the real kicker is that the system doesn’t communicate very well. The people running the show don’t know how much electricity is being used until well afterward. Communication only goes one way most of the time. To find out how much electricity I’m using, the utility has to come to my house and physically check my meter. If I want to save electricity in my house, I have to look at my monthly bill, compare it to other bills, and try to figure out what I should turn off, turn down, or replace. If I have a solar panel, a turbine in my stream, or some other way of generating my own power, unless my state has a “net-metering” law, I can’t sell the extra power that I produce to the grid or to anyone else (unless they’re really gullible).

The smart grid fixes all of this business. Smart meters on your house combined with smart technology up the wire show you and the utility what appliances are using what amount of electricity at what times. If we know how much we’re using and the utility knows how much electricity we need, we can get what we need and even store or generate our own power and sell it back to earn some extra cash.

The smart grid is like we get the internet for the grid. It’s sweet. Let’s get one.

You’ve got until 5pm PST tomorrow (12/17) to sponsor my mustache for kids. Please pick a project to fund with a $25 Tom Selleck sponsorship:

www.joshmustache.com

In the midst of all of these wind sprints, pushups, and whisker-curls, I managed to get sick yesterday. I’m wheezing like a hound on cigarettes. The coughing and sneezing has kept Maddy awake and disturbed my housemates all day. However, I’m determined to heal by the time the ‘Stache Bash rolls around tomorrow night at 8pm at the Rickshaw Stop. While sitting on my tush, I managed to make one final video to thank all of my generous mustache sponsors. Enjoy!

This is my big ask.

I wonder if you could find it in your heart this holiday season to sponsor my mustache. It would make life for school children in poverty a little bit better and would give me a chance to compete in the event that I’ve prepared for all year long.

Please sponsor my mustache with a “My Name is Earl” $50 or “Magnum P.I.” $25 donation for school kids:
http://www.joshmustache.com

To say thanks, I’ve just completed a new ‘stache video just for you.

2008 is not like other years in the land of Mustaches for Kids San Francisco.

This year, only the top 20 mustache growing fundraisers are guaranteed a spot in the ‘Stache Bash. For those who don’t know, ‘Stache Bash is the big event on December 17th where men who have been growing a mustache for a month get on stage to answer questions about their mustache and impress the judges for four grueling rounds. The winner is crowned “Sweetest ‘Stache” 2008. In previous years all growers were given a chance to compete, but currently I’m about $300 short of making it into the Top 20 fundraisers.

I need your help. Feel free to go big and donate at the “Burt Reynolds” level of $150 or go small with a $5 “Frida Kahlo” gift:
http://www.joshmustache.com

Today I was asked an important question. The answer is “no”. There is absolutely zero overhead taken in your donation on behalf of my mustache. 100% of the funds you give will be given through DonorsChoose.org to a elementary school teacher’s class project for her kids.

Thanks to Jess for your $50 gift today and thanks to all those who have sponsored my soup-strainer thus far. If just 30 more people sponsor with a $25 gift or greater, I’ll reach my goal of $1000 and catapult right into the big show on 12/17!

In the spirit of giving, please invest in my mustache today:
http://www.joshmustache.com

With all the love and gratitude my upper lip can muster,
Josh

P.S. If you’re in the Bay Area, please join me at ‘Stache Bash at the Rickshaw Stop next Wednesday 12/17 at 8pm.

P.P.S. Please help out by spreading my mustache videos (#1, #2, #3) with a personal ask to your friends to sponsor me and support the kids.